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Personality
Puts in my best for everything
Serious
Hobbies
Watch TV
Slack
Sleep
Loves
Dramas and variety shows esp. Korean ones
Korea
Lee Seung Gi
Dong Bang Shin Ki esp. Changmin and Yunho
Enjoys
Music
Learning Korean
Reading
Lame jokes
Helping others
Volunteering
Comedies
Likes
Sincere people
Peace
Balance
Indoors
Being in the limelight :P
Dislikes
Back-stabbers
Hypocrites
Cowards
Nonsense
Illogical People
Window Shopping
...Experience Reality... updated on 6th August 2009. ♥
Download all you want!
But do remember to say thanks!
Nothing (aka, no links) here is finalised yet! I'm still trying them out.
Here is the place where I'll store my dramas. Till the time I buy my external hard disk. First drama up, is "The Winter Melon Story", a Hong Kong drama.
Links for each episode are provided, and currently they are being uploaded to Megaupload. For instructions on how to download from Megaupload, refer to
"faq".
Anything you want to display here. Banners, buttons...? Etc.
I've started writing, so why don't you start reading?
{ Sunday, July 18, 2021 } 6:25 PM
I (Finally) Bought A Mechanical Keyboard!!!
Many things have happened since my last post. Really many.
I also forgot about the existence of this blog (I am so sorry).
So... Yesterday I went to Sim Lim Square to buy a mechanical keyboard with my boyfriend (yes, you read that correct, I have a boyfriend!! 🎉🎉)
And so here I am, just plugged in my new Ducky Rosa blue switch keyboard into my sister's laptop to try it out... And of course must type some shit on Word Doc to try properly ma. After which I looked back on what I typed and found myself hilarious so I decided to post it here. 😂😂😂
Here goes!
"Milo bar increased in price
My ah girl is very sad
She says very expensive
Haiz
Such is inflation
Increase in salary is never enough to match
increase in prices of everything
I love my new keyboard
I hope
Haha
Let me try different heights
Omg what is this
I tend to make less mistakes with a taller
height
Hmm I should start doing work
La lala la lalalalala~~~
I love Tian Yi! I love my boyfriend
He probably doesn’t earn much, but as long
as he loves me with his whole heart,
I have nothing else to ask for le ba
I just hope my mum will accept him in the
future
And that he loves me the same till we are in
our nineties hahaha"
...Experience Reality...
{ Thursday, October 22, 2020 } 9:53 PM
你说你已经睡了
/ 你說你已經睡了
⠀
⠀
「Kill yourself for recognition,
⠀kill yourself to never ever stop.
⠀You broke another mirror.
⠀You're turning into something you are not.」
⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀——Radiohead 〈High And Dry〉
⠀
⠀
你說你已經睡了
癱在地上
散成了好幾塊
每夢過一個人
就將一片交給對方
如果能換得回來
至少還算完整
只是再也不是
當初的自己
⠀
一旦夢醒了
那人毫不在意
你給的那部分
也會隨之而去
就此缺了一角
⠀
有時你傾盡所能
那人給的卻如此稀少
有時你奮不顧身
那人只惦著誰的碎片
終於你將自己越剝越小
眼光越放越低
睡與被睡
竟也是同一件事情
⠀
你說你好疲倦
已零零散散地睡了
而我也不會勉強
你把自己收好
只想你記得
夜還漫長
你可以迷茫困頓
或是耽在夢裡
獨自清醒
⠀
不需要成全誰的期許
⠀
⠀
——
收錄在《#瘦骨嶙峋的愛》。
...Experience Reality...
{ Sunday, September 13, 2020 } 12:08 AM
What If...
"What if I never forget you?
What if, all my life,
when I meet someone new,
I can never fall for them
because they aren't you?"
Exactly. Something I've been wishing you'd understand, but you never will. Sadly.
#whyhaventIgottenoveryou
...Experience Reality...
{ Saturday, August 29, 2020 } 3:27 AM
Why is finding someone to love me so difficult?
It's such an irony.
I've not blogged in years and my last post titled, "Why Be Miserable?" I honestly do not recall what I had written back then, but today's mood - as you would have guessed - is gonna feel miserable.
When did I first draft this post? Seems like it was 2nd Aug 2020 at 11:15pm. When I was utterly upset with someone. I didn't continue it as it "resolved" and up till a couple of days ago, I thought I would be able to delete this draft. Never would I have thought, it's a preceding event that would eventually lead to the completion of this post today.
So what did I write that night? Here goes:
I've always had a dream of finding someone to build a family with. Someone whom I wait for to come home, only to give him a hug to welcome him home after a long hard day at work; someone whom I willingly want to look after, even through doing little insignificant things, such as cooking meals for him, doing his laundry, making sure he is well and enjoy life's little things like delicious treats with him. Someone who makes me wanna improve myself for the better, for him AND for myself, so I turn out to be a better person over time. Someone to grow old with, accumulate life's little memories here and there, to look at and reminisce when we're both old. Two rekindled spirits wanting to spend their lives together, and mature together. It all sounds too idealistic but beautiful, isn't it?
Egged on by my kay poh colleagues at work, I had signed up for various dating apps. I'd even secretly signed up for a dating service and paid almost 3K for it. And all these started almost 2 years ago. August 2018?
I met this guy whom I thought was the one I was looking for. We both were family oriented. We share quite a number of similarities. He was sensible and had good mannerisms. We hit it off well. He was fun to chat with the first night we connected. But we were nothing more than Internet chat mates.
I knew I'd fallen for him that very night. Every single text from him, I was always looking forward to...
STOP.
Yeah I stopped there and then because I was fatigued. I couldn't remember, but either he replied me late that night, or I was too tired that I fell asleep and didn't finish posting. More likely the latter.
I'm updating this post today because I'm feeling anguished. I have no one who cares enough for me to pour my heart out to, and I feel extreme loneliness. It feels like my world has collapsed, and that things will never be the same again. My soul is badly wounded, and I feel like I'm gonna die any moment. I feel as if all my energy has been sucked out of me, and I don't quite want to live anymore. I couldn't sleep that very night - 26th Aug 2020; I've never had insomnia before in all 32 years of my life, and that very night, I couldn't fall asleep. Random thoughts keep running through my mind. They wouldn't stop. Hurtful words keep repeating themselves, I just felt more and more miserable. Eventually at 5am I managed to fall asleep, yet it only lasted 1.5 hours (I had a nightmare; I dreamt that I was supposed to be taking my A levels Math and Physics and I couldn't remember any formulae) and was wide awake at 7:30am. I tried my best not to open my eyes, I tossed and turned and still couldn't fall asleep. When I finally did, it was probably 8 plus, and it only lasted another 1.5 hours... Well at least I kinda had sufficient sleep to last me through almost the day.
The man in question was Baldev Singh. After matching on the Coffee Meets Bagel app in August 2018, we had a great night chatting with each other till 3am. He was fun and interesting. He had mannerisms. I told him how I had wanted to give up continuing the app, and that I was chatting with 2 other guys (who were much more boring than him) and he said he would wait in line and not cut queue. He proposed that we be exclusive to each other if we feel it's worth a shot. That was when I was mesmerized by him. I knew that night that I had fallen for him. I went to sleep that night imagining us kissing if we met. Too fast, you would say. But that's how he swept me off my feet.
Thinking back, he was never quite honest about his thoughts (although he kept saying that I was the only one who managed to enter his heart almost all his life). He led me on a wild chase. He was never clear about his thoughts about us. He gave vague answers. His life starting taking a turn for the worse and he went into clinical depression (he self-diagnosed and I agreed it was so, given my clinical expertise). He was suicidal. There were so many times he would mention plans of suicide and I had to try my best to stop him (over text, I did not know where he lived or had contacts of his family). I freaked out at the thought of losing him. I thought it was because he was unhappy with his new job. It was only in Jan 2020 that I found out that cause of his depression was an ex-girlfriend whom he loved deeply had broken up with him in 2018. I was crushed. I never once thought that there was a third party standing in my way towards him. Since then, I had always wondered if he had gotten over her. I had this scenario in the back of my mind that one day, if she had decided to take him back, he would definitely run back to her. That even if we had gotten married, she would always be a threat.
He did tell me that he only wanted to be friends in Dec 2018. But he was really low in his life, and I realised that I couldn't just leave him in a ditch and let him be. I decided to take up the role of his therapist. I probably didn't really do much; he has to do most of the healing himself; but eventually he got better in the beginning of 2020. He managed to eat his meals properly, he stopped crying (or perhaps, he stopped telling me), he was putting effort into his job, he was going out to meet his friends. He asked me questions that misled me: Would I prefer a HDB or a condo? Would I be okay to live with his mum? (He even mentioned that his mum liked me) Where would I want to go for honeymoon? I thought things were finally turning in the direction that I wanted to. That he finally was ready to love, and that he wanted to love me. That all my waiting from end 2018 till Jan 2020 was beginning to pay off. That my patience was starting to see results. That finally, I was to have a boyfriend.
In May 2020, he randomly asked me if I had enough leave to get married. Wasn't this a proposal? That was the happiest night of my life. That someone wanted to marry me, and I could look forward to making my childhood dream come true. That I had found someone who loved me and accept me for who I was (my inferiority complex regarding my physical looks and size). I started panicking about not having enough time to plan for a wedding. Worried that I didn't quite saved up for a wedding and the expenses that I would have to face. He further led me on when he randomly asked on another day if I would be okay to have the wedding at Crowne Plaza Hotel. I really really thought we were gonna be a couple. Finally, my turn to get married!
Red lights started to flash when he postponed a couple of our meet-ups. He refused to call them 'dates'. When I asked him what we were, he would never give me a proper answer. To the point that I told him what was at stake for me: my career, my retirement plans, my savings - he refused to address my questions squarely in the face and give me clear directions. I had asked clearly, "Are we really getting married?" He said, "I don't know. I can only tell you at the end of the year. I haven't settled my career yet. But if I had remained in MINDEF (that was where he was working when we matched), we would have been married by now." I felt a sense of relief. It wasn't the clearest answer, but at least, it felt like he wanted to marry me. Just that he didn't feel financially ready because he didn't have a "proper career that he wanted". I let it go that day. Although I heard a small part "what if we don't get married?". I ignored that small part.
I should not have ignored it; over the next few days/weeks, he didn't want to chat much with me. He would tell me, "Okay time to watch TV!", "Time for bed!", but stalking him would show that he was last seen at 3am. Or still online at 1 plus am. There was one night we had dinner together. He accidentally showed me a picture of his selfie with a Chinese lady. Just the two of them. He seemed happy in the picture. She looked slim and pretty. He had never taken a selfie with me despite us going out a couple of times in the past. He quickly swiped the picture away. I had questions but I couldn't ask. Because I was not his girlfriend. I had no rights to ask. When my night shift was over this Monday, I wanted to plan for our Sunday meeting (which was supposed to be on 30th Aug). He had to postpone again. But this time, he said it was for his job. He had a major meeting to prepare for on 1st Sep. I was disappointed but I tried to understand. But I really missed him a lot. I asked if he would be available for a quick dinner at Macs (I would be willing to travel to Nex where he lives since I was off the whole week), given that his mum usually worked night shift on Wednesdays. He didn't want to give a direct reply.
The last straw was on Wed afternoon. I had sent him a card to encourage him in his job search, and I wrote lots of "I love you" in various languages in the card. He received it on Tues evening. Instead of showing positive feelings of adoration, he told me to stop giving him surprises. That he couldn't reciprocate. Mind you, since his "wedding proposal" in May, I had the courage to send him hugs and kisses and love emoticons in our text messages and he did not reject me (neither did he send me back any...or maybe one huge red heart when he was drunk). I asked if he didn't like surprises from me. He didn't give a direct reply. But the phrase about him not being able to reciprocate struck an alarm in me. Coupled with him postponing the Sunday meeting, and not being willing to even meet me for a short dinner, and seemingly less willing to engage me in text messaging, and my own internal battle about the mixed signals he sent me that was driving me crazy and what I was to him, I asked him directly about his feelings for me on Wed afternoon. I had a premonition that the answer will not be what I wanted to hear, and I cried myself to a nap in the very same afternoon. He only got back to me that Wed fateful Wed night. That he did not reject my acts of love but he couldn't do the same for me. He tried to love me but THERE WAS NO SPARK. It was only feelings of best friend and sisterly love (from a brother). That he couldn't raise his feelings for me to a romantic level. That I was wife material and that he would be happy with me but it would be a loveless marriage because the romantic love has to be there for a marriage to work, and that YES WE WOULD HAVE BEEN MARRIED NONETHELESS IF HE WAS STILL IN MINDEF. That's when anguish and anger set in for me. Why did he led me on all these while? Especially since May? Why did he even propose marriage before his claims of he tried to love me took place? I didn't really feel his effort in trying to love me. Did he send me gifts? No. Did he remember all the nitty gritty details of my life? No. He even last minute backed out of a dinner date with my family in June! Why was I so infatuated with him? Why didn't I pick up all these red flags before I sank in so deeply after the proposed marriage? Why did he still confirmed the idea of a marriage if he had a good career? Yes I signed up to be your therapist when you were in depression, but I did not expected to be played like this. If you were trying to love me, but is unsure of the outcome, THEN DON'T COME TO PROPOSE MARRIAGE TO ME, AS IF YOU HAVE ALREADY DECIDED TO WANT ME FOR LIFE! And he still had the cheek to ask me to remain his best friend although I was badly bruised. Look, YOU WERE BADLY BRUISED BY YOUR EX GIRLFRIEND, BUT CAN'T YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND THAT I AM SIMILARLY BADLY BRUISED BY YOU?! YOUR BRUISES CAME FROM A 4 YEAR RELATIONSHIP WITH HER BUT I DIDN'T LOVE YOU ANY LESS IN THE 2 YEARS I HAD KNOWN YOU. MY BRUISES CAN BE WORSE THAN YOURS! It's further an insult that I was wife material, that I am good but there's no spark. WHAT THE SHIT? I am so fucking angry now. So in the last few months I had played the role of a fiancee, you enjoyed the care and love but didn't want to reciprocate and now you've decided that you don't want me anymore? Why is it that you are allowed to control this from the beginning to the end? And you asked me to date other guys and want to vet them before I officially become an item with them? IF YOU YOURSELF ARE UNABLE TO WALK OUT OF THE HURT YOUR PAST RELATIONSHIP GAVE YOU, WHY AM I EXPECTED TO ACT LIKE I AM NOT HURT AND CAN MOVE ON IMMEDIATELY? You bastard, you idiot, you fucktard!
Okay. I'm feeling better now. I have now realised what I have to do in order to overcome my heartache. It is to replace sadness with anger. I think I am allowed to feel angry for the 2 years I have spent waiting for you, and that I am entitled to rage given the misleading ideas you have given me in the last 3 months. I hereby curse you, that you will never ever meet the woman of your dreams. You will never ever feel a spark for any woman and will remain single till the end of your life. You will regret your vagueness and come begging for me. And it shall be up to me to decide what I will do with you. I WILL LIVE A BETTER LIFE THAN YOU, ASSHOLE. But why does my heart still ache despite letting the anger out..?
...Experience Reality...
{ Thursday, February 25, 2016 } 11:38 PM
Why Be Miserable?
Recently, I'm addicted to movie plot summaries by this YouTuber, AmoGood. At the end of each video, he tries to preach some take home messages (some illogical and funny, some dead serious and inspirational). So here I am, to share with you one of his inspirational messages:
放下一個傷痛的時間長短
並不代表
產生這個傷痛的悲劇的慘度
悲劇的事大家都會遇到
少在那邊以為你遇到的最屌
所以除非你打定主意
永遠不放下這悲劇帶來的傷痛
那這樣早點放下不就早點開心嗎
當然如果你打算永遠不放下你的傷痛
永遠要每天一臉屎樣演悲情
那你可要好好堅持喔
不然一旦你放下了
你前面就浪費一堆時間
白背負這些傷痛囉
Translation by myself:
The length of time taken to put behind one's misery
Does not correlate with
The magnitude of awfulness of the tragedy causing the pain.
Stop sitting in a corner thinking that your misery is the most tragic;
Therefore, unless you intend
To never get over the hurt brought about by that misery,
The earlier you put that misery behind you, wouldn't you feel happier earlier?
Of course, if you plan to never get over that hurt,
Intending to look pitiful with the same shitty face everyday
Then you better persist in doing so;
Otherwise, the day you have decided to let it all go,
You would have wasted a whole shitload of time
Bearing all those miserable burden for nothing.
...Experience Reality...
{ Monday, March 30, 2015 } 1:49 AM
Hang in there!
I have been in ASP for some time, and somehow I haven't been enjoying myself... I don't know if it's the nature if the work, or the level of commitment and studying required, or the fact that I don't get what they are trying to teach me, or that I can't accept that I have been underperforming, or.... I don't know.
All I strongly feel now, is that I want out of ASP for now. Till when, you ask. I have no idea. Maybe I am such a lazy bum that will amount to nothing in the future. Maybe I have not found my interest yet. Maybe I am interested in nothing yet. Maybe, I need a change in environment, a stimulus, an inspiration? I do hope something would intrigue me soon. I have no time to waste. I may be able to fend off my bosses for now, but I don't know how long I can keep them off.
And I just saw the email between my boss and the ID consultant, discussing how I will be permanently rotating to ASP and "Welcome abroad!"... I felt such an immense wave of despair washing over me such that I have not replied, "Thanks!" to the ID consultant, especially how rude it is not to.
I am so grateful that Friday is Good Friday, meaning I can escape ASP for a day. I question myself, if I feel like escaping it so much, then perhaps, I don't really enjoy it? However, I haven't been able to find the one reason that explains my involuntary rejection towards ASP. In any case, I will be taking half day off later, meaning essentially I will only be in ASP for 3.5 days. How awesome!
This makes me slightly a bit happier... Hang in there, Christy! 3.5 days should pass really soon!
...Experience Reality...
{ Saturday, November 08, 2014 } 7:42 PM
Weird Names for Future Generations
On the MRT home today, I saw the names of 2 kids (different parents) and I can't fathom why would the parents choose such names.
One was named Tedman, and the other was named Neven.
I just can't and I wouldn't want my children to be laughed at by their peers, and Neven sounds like never. Ugh.
Maybe in the future, such names would become the norm instead and names like Dalton and Ethan would be weirder.
...Experience Reality...
{ Monday, March 10, 2014 } 12:12 AM
Zumba At Home!!
Finally bought this from Guardian at Northpoint!!
With this, I can try out zumba at the comfort of my own home, without the need to bring extra workout clothing to work, rush to end work to join in zumba class and pay zumba course fees! I can also do zumba everyday! (Though I doubt I'll be that hardworking) And no need to worry about panting non stop in the class and embarrassing myself.
Out of curiosity, I read the program guide and it says I should try the step-by-step CD. It was kinda fun (teaches you how to dance each step properly) but my sister remarked that I should try the hardest CD if I wanted to lose weight fast. So I tried the Exhilarate CD and oh my, it was really fast paced and intense! I got tired by the third song, and stopped after the fourth song. My calf muscles are aching now! Wonder how I'm going to run around the hospital tomorrow...
I hope this zumba set will allow me to achieve the cardio exercise recommended by health professionals - 150 mins per week.
Oh well. I clerked 25 min today. Jiayou!
...Experience Reality...
{ Saturday, September 22, 2012 } 11:43 PM
How Can?
A few days ago, I fell sick and took MC. Of course, my colleagues had to cover my duties (same workload shared among lesser people if you get what I mean) and as a result, went home later than their usual time.
One of them wrote on her Facebook: "Home at 9pm. How can? You tell me how can? Every single passionate cell will die away eventually..."
I got a little angry. Although me being on MC caused them more work and going home late, I got angry. 'Why?' you may ask. Because, she had the guts to complain when she reached home at 9pm. Me? I never got to reach home at 9pm recently. I've got to cover other people too, and I reached home at 12 A.M. even though I took a taxi home. And although usually at 10 p.m. I'm still working my ass off at TTSH, I NEVER once complained on Facebook. You dared to complain. HOW CAN?
And because I was working my ass off, I fell sick and took 4 days MC.
See, my dear TTSH? You cannot overwork me. I am not a person to be too stressed out. My body will burn out and I will fall sick and then I will take MC and your people suffer.
I recall a BTOB's "Insane" with the following lyrics: You make me go insane, She gives me so much pain, I won't be back again (I wanna hate you)
Yes, I'll probably say that to my boss' face when I submit my resignation letter.
...Experience Reality...
{ Monday, December 26, 2011 } 8:55 PM
DBSK - Winter Rose Lyrics
Winter Rose is a very beautiful song; beautiful vocals, beautiful lyrics, beautiful melody. What more can you ask for? Oh, beautiful idols too. =P So here I am, to share the lyrics with you guys:
Romaji
Fuyuno seizano youni gairojuno akari Sorawo oou beruno yukino otogasuru Hanareteita jikanmo daite dakishimete Want kiss sotto My love motto Fukaku tsutaetai bokuha
Kimiga ireba soredeii Sousa close to heart, close to my love Tatta hitotsu shikanai aiga kokoni arukara Kimino tameni irebaii Itsumo close to heart, close to your love Tokimekiwo kasaneau kokorono nakani winter rose
Kinya ginno mall ni afureru hitonami Chiisana hakowo daita kimiga kaketekuru Sono isshunni munega shimetsukerarete Want kiss zutto Your love kitto Kotaewo mitsuketa bokuha
Kimiga ireba soredeii Sousa close to heart, close to my love Futari dakewo futariha shinjite irareru hazu Kimino tameni irebaii Itsumo close to heart, close to your love Samishisamo wakariau kokorono nakani winter rose
Imamadeno donna omoide nimo Tada kono ichinichiwo yurushite no more tears no more lies Konyaha shiawasega mukuwareru tameno yorusa Tsuyoku futariha musubareteru tsuyoku
Kimiga ireba soredeii Sousa close to heart, close to my love Tatta hitotsu shikanai aiga kokoni arukara Kimino tameni irebaii Itsumo close to heart, close to your love Tokimekiwo kasaneau kokorono nakani winter rose
Translation
The winter stars, the illuminations on the roadside trees The veil covering skies, the sound of the falling snow Hug, hugging even the times we were apart I want to kiss you softly, my love, more and more I want to convey my deep feelings to you
My only hope is that, you be at my side Yes, close to heart, close to my love The one and only love is here in my hands I will be here only for you, always Close to heart, close to your love Our love blends together, in our hearts, winter rose
The crowds overflowing in the golden and silver malls You are running to me with a small box in your hand Watching you at that moment, my heart leaps I want to kiss you forever, your love, surely I’ve finally found my answer
My only hope is that, you be at my side Yes, close to heart, close to my love We should be able to believe in our love I will be here only for you, always Close to heart, close to your love We can even share our loneliness, in our hearts, winter rose
For each memory we hold up to this moment Please forgive this day, no more tears, no more lies Tonight shall be the time our happiness would be rewarded We are strongly tied together, so strongly
My only hope is that, you be at my side Yes, close to heart, close to my love The one and only love is here in my hands I will be here only for you, always Close to heart, close to your love Our love blends together, in our hearts, winter rose
Source: sainokuni@vimeo & smiley@OneTVXQ.com Translation: smiley @ OneTVXQ.com Special thanks: (To all my friends on twitter) Credits: OneTVXQ.com {One World. One Red Ocean. One TVXQ!}
...Experience Reality...
{ Monday, December 19, 2011 } 1:48 AM
What Am I Doing?!
I'm supposed to be asleep at this hour, but I haven't done anything! PW is gonna scold me again!
Anyway, my love for K Pop hasn't decreased a single bit, but because of my busy schedule, I haven't listened to as many new songs as I would have as compared to the past. And I definitely would have blogged more! OMG I can't believe this is my first post in SIX months.
As a baby step to updating my blog, I will add 3 new songs to my playlist. Yes, 3 of my favourite songs at the moment, by my favourite artists - Lee Seung Gi and Dong Bang Shin Ki (HoMin and JYJ). Beautiful songs. Enough said at the moment.
...Experience Reality...
{ Wednesday, June 08, 2011 } 3:05 AM
Baek Ji Young - Average
One of my favourite female singers, Baek Ji Young, has released a new album! I didn't really spend time listening to all the songs in her album, but there's this song that I really liked - Average.
As usual, Baek Ji Young's vocals are full of emotion and depth, but I especially like this song because it's soothing to the ears and its lyrics are simple yet meaningful. I've always liked the lyrics of Baek Ji Young's title tracks and this time round, "Average" is special because it conveys a special concept different from the mainstream ballads. So "Average" is definitely NOT average!
"Average" is about a woman who yearns for an average life and love, which the current guy who broke her heart can't give to her and she's trying to run away from everything that is not average. Also, someone on YouTube commented that the desire for an average life and love is because if it's average, it's not fantastic and hence, not heartbreaking either. Wow. I wish I can have such deep interpretation as this YouTube user.
Anyway, the first song playing from my player will be Average by Baek Ji Young. Lyrics are posted below (although I can't really understand the last 2 paragraphs translated. Maybe it's because it's midnight now. =X) I especially love the line "You're the worst guy I've ever met." Credits of the lyrics go to LoveKPopSubs3 @ YouTube.
Always meeting average guys Always being loved averagely The same average house, the same average children Only feeling average pain Only feeling average joy I’m happy sometimes, I’m unhappy sometimes I only want to live an average life
How is it, that out of everybody I met the bad, bad you Not like the others, I wasn’t even averagely loved I thought you’d be there for me sometimes And that I wouldn’t be alone My tears don’t stop falling when you’re not around Why am I distressed like this after he left? You’re worse than just an average person
What’s difficult in having an average love? In living and loving an average woman? And you even force me further away from you The special value of a person like you Is that I’ll never want someone like you
How, out of everyone else You’re the worst guy I’ve ever met Not like the others, I wasn’t even averagely loved I thought you’d be there for me sometimes And that I wouldn’t be alone My tears don’t stop falling when you’re not around Why am I distressed like this after he left? You’re worse than just an average person
This will be like an average pain Others will get hurt just like me Do you want me to believe you’re special? Hurt like this, how can I be average?
If I’m really average enough, I’m only asking if I’m average like everyone else says They say I’m average enough for you to love me What’s so difficult? You always tear apart my heart Why am I distressed like this after he left? You’re worse than just an average person
...Experience Reality...
{ Friday, May 27, 2011 } 12:26 AM
Student Submission Wave
The cute thing about IVLE is that when a lecturer or a student uploads a file, the "What's New" tab will show you was what uploaded and at what time.
Then I realised, whenever it's the deadline for project submission onto IVLE, the same notification will appear on the ENTIRE window:
I'm one of them actually. =X
...Experience Reality...
{ Sunday, April 17, 2011 } 1:01 AM
How They Get You To Spend More
I'm about to go to New Zealand in around 2 weeks' time for my graduation trip!!! But before that, there's still exams to prepare for... I'm sure my friends would already have finished half of studying, but I have yet to even start... Gosh. So many distractors!
Anyway, meanwhile, I still have to prepare for my NZ trip, so today I spent the whole afternoon outside buying necessities (which James says there is no need for me to bring so many things, and how he keeps emphasizing on travel light. I want to, but I can't go with a little thing not prepared. I want to be able to pre-empt every imaginable situation. I've actually got wilder plans like, prepare an emergency escape backpack like every Japanese does, which contains chemical warmers, dried food and drinks, torchlight, etc in case of emergency, so I can hold out for a period of time in case something happens to Christchurch again. OMG. Touchwood. Choy!) instead of studying. I bought a new watch (I haven't got one for use now), long pants and a new pair of shoes (in case my shoes spoil, which they often do, even in school). I've still got stuff not bought yet!
I kept all the NETS receipt so I could keep track of how I spent my money. OMG. Horrendously, I've spent $4K in 2 months! I'm so broke! I can't pamper myself anymore! T.T I never imagined that a lot of expenses have to go into preparing for grad trip.
In any case, I went to The Body Shop to buy some body moisturiser in case the weather in NZ is so dry that my skin cracks. Then I would not be able to enjoy my holiday anymore. I wanted the strawberry puree that they have, but being in a dispenser that you can't keep after opening, it seemed better to buy wide-mouthed containers with screw on caps. The salesperson was a nice auntie; she suggested that I buy body butter 'cos of the dry wind and that I wouldn't feel sticky 'cos it's dry there. I believed her and she opened every single tester container to let me smell the unique fragrance of each flavor. There's the floral fragrance type, then fruits type (there's one named cocoa I think. It really smelled like chocholate! It would be fun to test out the flavor on oneself, but I don't want my friends to throw me weird glances every night in the hotel room). I settled for the newest fragrance, which was Dreams Unlimited. It really smells very nice, and of course, is more expensive than the other ranges. There's even a perfume under the Dreams Unlimited series, and I am thinking of buying it one day. For work. Heh.
Oh my I've sidetracked too much. Anyway, The Body Shop was having a promotion whereby you buy 2 get 1 free. I decided to buy lip balm 'cos I don't want cracked lips... Then the lady was like, do you want to get a third item? I was thinking, why not seize the opportunity? So against my mother's insistence, I bought a bottle of face moisturiser too. I then realised that I didn't ask how much the body butter cost! It was $34.90, much higher than my budget, but I still bought it because I really liked the fragrance.
When it was time to pay, the bill came up to $68.40 and I had a shock. I kept forgetting that the face moisturiser cost $29.90, and kept thinking that it was $19.90. Seriously, for that really small bottle of moisturiser, it's really not quite worth it, but I have to buy it because I don't want my face to peel and my photos to turn out ugly. Upon paying, I qualified to become a member (yes, ever since last December, I've become a member of various store chains because of the amount of money I spent in those shops) once again. Oh well. My mum couldn't believe it.
Anyway, because of the promotion, I saved $19.90 (membership fee waived and lip balm free). if I wasn't greedy enough to make use of the promotion, I would have saved $29.90 (the money spent on face moisturiser). Conclusion? How shops get you to spend more if by having promotions, to drive you to buy more than necessary. If you're not clear-headed about what you want, you can get lost amongst the sale prices. Another way shops get you to spend more is to tell you that if you spend a bit more than what you already want to buy, you are entitled to a free membership which you can use to get a discount off your current purchase. And yes, that was how I fell into the trap of my other 3 membership cards. One last way to get you to spend more: you are entitled to free membership next year, if within this membership year, you spend a certain amount. Oh well. At least, it's confirmed that I have successfully renewed my Bossini membership in less than 2 months.
Christy!!!! No wonder you are broke. =(
...Experience Reality...
{ Saturday, March 19, 2011 } 6:04 PM
Beautiful In White - Shane Filan
My cousin got married a few months ago, but I only found out recently that she had a video of the photos taken only! I fell in love with the background song immediately. So here's the lyrics to the song:
Shane Filan – Beautiful In White
I’m not sure if you know this
But when we first met I’ve got so nervous I couldn’t speak In that very moment I found one and My life have found this missing piece
So as long as I live I’ll love you Will heaven hold you You look so beautiful in white And from now till my very last breathe This day I’ll cherish You look so beautiful in white Tonight
What we have is timeless My love is endless And we’ll be screaming Say to the world You’re my every reason You’re all that I believe in With all my heart I mean every words
So as long as I live I’ll love you Will heaven hold you You look so beautiful in white And from now till my very last breathe This day I’ll cherish You look so beautiful in white Tonight You look so beautiful in white Na na na na So beautiful in white Tonight
And if our daughter is what our future holds I hope she has your eyes Finds love like you and I did Yeah You’ll wish falls in love will let her go I’ll walk her down the aisle She look so beautiful in white
You look so beautiful in white
So as long as I live I’ll love you will heaven hold you You look so beautiful in white And from now to my very last breathe This day I’ll cherish You look so beautiful in white Tonight You look so beautiful in white Tonight
...Experience Reality...
{ Monday, February 21, 2011 } 7:35 PM
My First Try at Ddeok Mandu Guk (Without the Mandu)
My mum went to Fairprice Xtra with my dad and bought some frozen Korean rice cakes without my knowing. Then, she started nagging my to try cooking it. You know, I'd never cook during semester time unless I'm tired of studying (and trying to escape from reality) or I'm really really free.
So today, since it's mid-sem break, I had the urge to try cooking Ddeok Mandu Guk.
Ddeok Mandu Guk, when translated into English, means "Rice Cake and Dumpling Soup". Mandu is dumpling, and since my mum has already prepared dinner, I'm gonna leave out the Mandu so we won't have too much food for dinner. On Lunar New Year's Day, (the FIRST day), Koreans have Ddeok Mandu Guk in the morning for some auspicious meaning. I didn't research much into it, but from what I heard, it is a clear or white-coloured soup with a special kind of Ddeok (rice cake) that is round [not the kind of spicy rice cake we see on dramas] and eating it means having money ('cos coins are round) and being white, it represents purity. Eating this dish also means wishing that as one gains a year in age, one becomes more mature. Isn't the one year older concept similar to us eating those "tang yuans" on Winter Solstice? I've attached some pictures of Ddeok Mandu Guk below:
So when I finished cooking my own version, I was so proud of it... I even thought it tasted awesome! =P How can anyone be as thick-skinned as I am? I always think that food cooked by myself tastes good. >.<
...Experience Reality...
{ Sunday, February 13, 2011 } 11:42 PM
Jiayou!
I have not blogged for a LONG time.
But to think of it, it's not THAT long, since I'm still into my DBSK's songs. Heh.
Anyway, the upcoming CA is bound to kill me, and I'm sorta prepared to fail. Oh well. If only I have like 500GB of memory and 4GB RAM in my head, with file transfer rate of 10MB/second. Then I would have no problems for this CA. And perhaps the rest of my life. Haha.
My cousin Kin is flying back to Taiwan soon!!!! I wish I could spend more time with him, but it seems impossible with the tight schedule that I have now. And my favorite little cousin Fook is gonna come too!!!! Tomorrow I'm supposed to buy a birthday cake and celebrate Kin's birthday.. In advance. In any case, it's a good excuse to have a cake. My mum will cook a feast ('cos my uncle and aunt and grandma will be coming too) and on Tuesday my family will bring Kin out for dinner. Hopefully we can get something for Kin too.
Last week, I handed up my FYP Draft a little later than the stipulated deadline... Luckily my ultra-nice supervisor didn't reprimand me for that!!! =D When I sent him an e-mail with tremendous fear and prepared for the worst, explaining to him that I was late and sorry and all, his reply "no worries" calmed me down instantly. But then at 1 a.m., he sent me another e-mail saying that he couldn't find my file. Hmm. Don't tell me he works at NUS till 1 a.m.?! I quickly sent him a reply at 2.30 a.m. that I placed it at the desk outside his office... And the next day, he e-mailed me saying that he had finished marking my draft and wanted to meet me. OMG. He's amazing. My friends were saying how alike I was to me supervisor - we both work late into the night. Haha.
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day... So Happy Valentine's Day to all!!!! =D
A pity I have no latest love song to share for this occasion!
...Experience Reality...
{ Sunday, January 23, 2011 } 6:52 PM
Busy Busy Busy! (I Love DBSK)
Because I procrastinate a lot, I have tons of stuff not done yet.
Because I'm so into K-pop and my favourite Dong Bang Shin Ki, I'm procrastinating.
I just added 2 new songs into my playlist! The first song you're listening to now is DBSK (Yunho and Changmin now)'s "WHY (Keep Your Head Down)". It's a very "noisy" song to some people perhaps, but I love it. 'Cos it's by my bias Changmin and Yunho. And if you watch their live performance, OMG, it's so fantastic that it captivates my attention completely even though I can re-watch the performances like a dozen times. For each same performance. And that's probably where I used all my time on...
I like the upbeat feel to "Why (Keep Your Head Down)" and gosh, it's so hard to learn the dance! Dong Bang Shin Ki is the best band out there. Actually, I was a bit worried about how Yunho and Changmin can sing together... But they have not let fans down. =D And now I kinda like Yunho's voice when he sings. Haha. Because it's extraordinary! Although it's a result of his damaged vocal cords when he was young... In any case, it has a distinctive feel to it.
The second song I've added is "How Can I (Story That I Don't Want To Believe)". I don't know what's wrong with the Korean music industry now, it seems like almost every singer/band like to name their songs with some words, then add on to it with brackets. In any case, the true meaning of this second song is Story That I Don't Want To Believe. This song is so beautiful that it can make you cry if you listen with your heart. It's a superb song, and it showcases the talents of Changmin and Yunho. To me, it sounds like the whole of DBSK is singing together. And then I start to imagine how heavenly it would sound like if all 5 members were to sing this song together.
Some fans have been saying how this song reflects the feelings of Changmin and Yunho for Junsu, Yoochun and Jaejoong. Now that the 5 of them are not together yet... Especially now that newspapers have been spreading more disharmony between the 5 of them. I was reading Lian He Wan Bao last night and the report on DBSK made me so furious! It seems like the reporter is an anti-fan of DBSK. Seriously, there is a better way to report on them...
I believe that the 5 of them will reunite soon. Always keep the faith!
And I should keep faith in myself too. That means, start work soon!
...Experience Reality...
{ Tuesday, October 19, 2010 } 11:48 PM
Hectic Week
This week is hectic. And next week too. Till the end of the semester, every week is gonna be the same.
I just e-mailed my FYP supervisor my third draft of my proposal which I did during my break, so I ended up not studying. Then I had some questions so I emailed him those questions too. I kinda expected him to read through my 3rd draft, give me comments, then I finalise my proposal by tomorrow. However, I don't think he intends to do that. Haha. So I guess I do my proposal tomorrow and then send it again to him. I can't really expect him to make time for my FYP at my own convenience... I should have done it earlier and sent it to him.
Anyway, I had 9 questions so at the end of them all, I said, "Sorry for the long questions! Can I send my proposal to you tomorrow after you've read through this draft? Thank you!" to end the e-mail properly. Guess what he replied?
"Yes - thanks. Sorry for the short reply, in a rush"
Haha! Isn't it cute? I apologised for asking long questions but he replied with short answers. But actually my questions only warranted short answers... =/
Gotta start studying soon!
...Experience Reality...
{ Tuesday, October 12, 2010 } 1:18 AM
My FYP So Far
Today I shall blog a little.
I finally got to see my FYP supervisor after 1 week of not seeing him. It’s really weird, ‘cos when I don’t see him, I feel all confused about my FYP, not knowing what to do. But when he’s around, I get a little intimidated. Like, what if he asks me questions that I don’t know how to answer? And I haven’t been progressing on my FYP. However, I get doubts cleared.
Anyway, people at NCC walk really fast into the office. I sit at the computer just next to the door, so when they enter the office and walk past me quickly, I feel super cold. When it’s already cold enough.>.<>
I’ve been working hard at collecting data when I haven’t been able to finish even 20% of the data given to me. This is due to multiple reasons, such as me having to tutor my tutee for her final exams and me having to swim damn hard on my own just to make clear what is going on, only to find out that what I think I learnt from swimming on my own is wrong!
Anyway, I’ve tried to stay at NCC for as I can, but there’s a limit to how much time I can devote to my FYP. For example, my mum expects me to be back home by 7 pm so the whole family can have lunch together. There’s still CAs and assignments and group discussions and P1… How much time does one have?
So AC was worried about my P1 ‘cos I haven’t finished screening through my patients. So AC said, you should come down to NCC more to work on it. Then I told him, “I’ve been coming down here on Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays…” And he didn’t say anything more. I think he’s satisfied with my answer and how much time I’ve spent. Oh well.
Actually, till now, I don’t really know what I am doing, what I am supposed to do or how I am going to do my FYP. It’s like, I appear to know what I am doing, but then if you ask me deeper, I seriously don’t know. Sigh.
I’ve spent the whole of today at NCC again. From 9 am till 5.30 pm. I think I’m working there part-time. I’ve been screening patients so hardworking-ly and yet my progress is so slow. And I had such a bad headache at the end of the day that I simply knocked off at 5.30 pm sharp. And my head still hurts now. =(
...Experience Reality...
chitter-chatter like monkeys
Any advice, anything to talk about? Don't seal it up. Just let it all out here! (:
Plugboard
{ Sunday, July 18, 2021 } 6:25 PM
I (Finally) Bought A Mechanical Keyboard!!! 
Huimin @ 
