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Plugging Instructions (Must plug first):
Host ur button at PhotoBucket, then copy the direct link of your button that is 88px x 31px! Then paste it under the 'Button URL' and type your blog's URL under 'Website URL' then press 'Click it!'! That's all!
Personality
Puts in my best for everything
Serious
Hobbies
Watch TV
Slack
Sleep
Loves
Dramas and variety shows esp. Korean ones
Korea
Lee Seung Gi
Dong Bang Shin Ki esp. Changmin and Yunho
Enjoys
Music
Learning Korean
Reading
Lame jokes
Helping others
Volunteering
Comedies
Likes
Sincere people
Peace
Balance
Indoors
Being in the limelight :P
Dislikes
Back-stabbers
Hypocrites
Cowards
Nonsense
Illogical People
Window Shopping
...Experience Reality... updated on 6th August 2009. ♥
Download all you want!
But do remember to say thanks!
Nothing (aka, no links) here is finalised yet! I'm still trying them out.
Here is the place where I'll store my dramas. Till the time I buy my external hard disk. First drama up, is "The Winter Melon Story", a Hong Kong drama.
Links for each episode are provided, and currently they are being uploaded to Megaupload. For instructions on how to download from Megaupload, refer to
"faq".
Anything you want to display here. Banners, buttons...? Etc.
I've started writing, so why don't you start reading?
{ Saturday, December 31, 2005 } 2:51 AM
Professional Jokes
"Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? I've heared once about a doctor treating someone with pneumonia and finally he died of typhus." "Don't worry, it won't happen to me. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia."
A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help. On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't do any good. On his third visit the doctor told the man, "Go home and take a hot bath. As soon as you finish bathing throw open all the windows and stand in the draft." "But doc," protested the patient, "if I do that, I'll get pneumonia." "I know," said the doctor, "I can cure pneumonia."
A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $600.The doctor exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! I don't even make that much as a doctor!." The plumber quietly answered, "Neither did I when I was a doctor."
If it is dry - add moist; if it is moisten - add dryness. Congratulations, now you are a dermatologist.
A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc., when she interrupted him: "Hey look, I'm a vet -- I don't need to ask my patients these kind of questions: I can tell what's wrong just by looking. Why can't you?" The doctor nodded, looked her up and down, wrote out a prescription, and handed it to her and said, "There you are. Of course, if that doesn't work, we'll have to have you put down."
What's the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist?One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what he treats.
The lawyer's son wanted to follow in his father's footsteps, so he went to law school. He graduated with honors, and then went home to join his father's firm. At the end of his first day at work he rushed into his father's office, and said, "Father, father, in one day I broke the accident case that you've been working on for ten years!" His father responded: "You idiot, we could live on the funding of that case for another ten years!"
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. "Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined. "You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!" "Oh my gaaad....", replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex???!!!!!"
A witness to an automobile accident was testifying. The lawyer asked him, "Did you actually see the accident?" The witness: "Yes, sir." The lawyer: "How far away were you when the accident happened?" The witness: "Thirty-one feet, six and one quarter inches." The lawyer (thinking he'd trap the witness): "Well, sir, will you tell the jury how you knew it was exactly that distance?" The witness: "Because when the accident happened I took out a tape and measured it. I knew some annoying lawyer would ask me that question."
An engineer dies and reports to hell. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan replies, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next." God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here." Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him." God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue." Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?"
The day after a verdict had been entered against his client, the lawyer rushed to the judge's chambers, demanding that the case be reopened, saying: "I have new evidence that makes a huge difference in my client's defence."The judge asked, "What new evidence could you have?"The lawyer replied, "My client has an extra $10,000, and I just found out about it!"
You Might Be a Lawyer if... you are charging someone for reading these jokes. you believe that a forty words' sentence is a short one. you have a daughter named Sue and a son named Bill. you can look at a contract and instantly tell whether it's verbal or written. your other car is a BMW. when you look in a mirror, you see a lawyer. when your wife says "I love you," you cross-examine her.
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? 1) "How many can you afford?" 2) It only takes one to change your bulb...to his. Two. One to change it and one to keep interrupting by standing up and shouting "Objection!" 3) Three. One to do it and two to sue him for malpractice. 4) Three. One to turn the bulb, one to shake him off the ladder, and the third to sue the ladder company. 5) Three. One to sue the power company for insufficiently supplying power, or negligent failure to prevent the surge that made the bulb burn out in the first place, one to sue the electrician who wired the house, and one to sue the bulb manufacturers. 6) Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services. 7) None, lawyers only screw us.
"You ought to feel highly honored," said the businessman to the life insurance agent, "so far today I have had my secretary turn away seven insurance agents." "Yes, I know," replied the agent, "I'm them."
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources person asked a young applicant fresh out of Business School, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The applicant said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years - say, a red Corvette?" The applicant sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?" And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."
Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel manager's office. "What is the meaning of this?" the manager asked. "When you applied for the job, you told us you had 5 years' experience. Now we discover this is the first job you've ever had." "Well," the young man said, "in your ad you said you wanted somebody with imagination."
Applicant Speak: what they say and what they mean by it I know how to deal with stressful situations: I'm usually on Prozac. When I'm not, I take lots of cigarette and coffee breaks. I seek a job that will draw upon my strong communication & organizational skills: I talk too much and like to tell other people what to do. I'm extremely adept at all manner of office organization: I've used Microsoft Office. My pertinent work experience includes: I hope you don't ask me about all the McJobs I've had. I take pride in my work: I blame others for my mistakes. I'm balanced and centered: I'll keep crystals at my desk and do Tai Chi in the lunchroom. I have a sense of humor: I know a lot of corny, old jokes and I tell them badly. I'm willing to relocate: As I leave San Quentin, anywhere's better. I'm extremely professional: I carry a Day-Timer. My background and skills match your requirements: You're probably looking for someone more experienced. I am adaptable: I've changed jobs a lot. I am on the go: I'm never at my desk. I'm highly motivated to succeed: The minute I find a better job, I'm outta there. I have formal training: I'm a college dropout. I interact well with co-workers: I've been accused of sexual harassment. Thank you for your time and consideration: Wait! Don't throw me away!
Employer Speak: what they say and what they mean by it Entry level position: You'll be making minimum wage. Entry level position in an up-and-coming company: You'll be making minimum wage; we'll be bankrupt in a year. Profit sharing plan: Once it's shared between the higher-ups, there won't be a profit. Competitive salary: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors. Join our fast-paced company: We have no time to train you; you'll have to introduce yourself to your coworkers. Nationally recognized leader: Inc. Magazine wrote us up a few years ago, but we haven't done anything innovative since. Immediate opening: The person who used to have this job gave notice a month ago. We're just now running the ad. Casual work atmosphere: We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up, although a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings. Competitive environment: We have a lot of turnover. Must be deadline oriented: You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day. Some overtime required: Some time each night and some time each weekend. Flexible hours: Work 40 hours; get paid for 25. Must have an eye for detail: We have no quality control. College degree preferred: Unless you wasted those four years studying something useless like Philosophy, English or Social Work. Career minded: Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way). Apply in person: If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled. No phone calls please: We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality. Problem solving skills a must: You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos. Requires team leadership skills: You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
New Job Interview Technique Take the prospective employee and put him in a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave him alone for two hours, without any instruction. At the end of that time, go back and see what he is doing. If he has taken the table apart, put him in Engineering. If he is counting the butts in the ashtray, assign him to Finance. If he is waving his arms and talking out loud, send him to Consulting. If he is talking to the chairs, Personnel is a good spot for him. If he is sleeping, he is Management material. If he is writing up the experience, send him to the Technical Documentation team. If he doesn't even look up when you enter the room, assign him to Security. If he tries to tell you it's not as bad as it looks, put him into Marketing. If he is wearing green sunglasses and need a haircut, Software is his niche. If he mentions what a good price we got for the table and chairs, send him to Purchasing. If he mentions that hardwood furniture does not come from rainforests, Public Relations will suit him well.
Experience is directly proportional to the amount of equipment ruined. Experience is something you do not get until just after you need it. Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones. Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else. Experience is knowledge acquired when it's too late. Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when you make it again.
...Experience Reality...
chitter-chatter like monkeys
Any advice, anything to talk about? Don't seal it up. Just let it all out here! (:
Christmas Italian Style (Joke)
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Huimin @ http://shine-or-rain0211.blogspot.com
{ Saturday, December 31, 2005 } 2:51 AM
Professional Jokes 
